A how-to on courtly etiquette

Figure 1: William Hogarth, 'The Assembly at Wanstead House. Between 1728-32. Wikimedia Commons.

Blogpost written by Sara Elisabeth Bernert

with the consultation of Julius Bernhard von Rohr (1688—1742)

Dearest reader,

Etiquette and conventions of behavior have always played a role in Western Society and were a sign of distinction, which made one's affiliation with a specific social group evident. Rules of that sort are still present in our societies today, representing to many a matter of class and distinction. And this topic was only recently pushed into the focus of the public eye, for example, in the Netflix show "Mind Your Manners" starring Sara Jane Ho, founder of a Beijing finishing school. In the show, she teaches her students the art of etiquette, including the many thresholds on a cross-cultural level. After watching her show, you might think eating a banana with a fork and knife is challenging…

Now imagine immersing yourself in the courtly life at one of the many elusive palaces and noble houses in the first half of the 18^th Century. A world in which exuberance, splendor, and courtly ceremonial were at their peak. A world in which the palaces were used as a stage. Stages, on which performance and appearance were the keys to gaining respect, requiring the actors to conform to the framework of strict behavioral customs.

Assuming you want to advance in this society: Would you know how to act and carry yourself? What to wear? How to communicate according to your status to make a good impression? How do you prevent being ridiculed and falling out of favor? If one or more of your answers is no, there is no need to worry. Like we do today, the contemporaries needed a little help regarding those conventions. The remedy is rather simple: Several authors conglomerated these etiquette rules in their treaties. One of them was the Saxon Chamberlain, natural scientist, and writer Bernhard Julius von Rohr (1688—1742). In 1728 and 1733, he published the two volumes of "Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft", an introduction to ceremonial sciences.[i] The first book focuses on all matters concerning private people and the other on the great masters. Both volumes are a joy to read, and some tips and tricks are unbelievable. In contrast, others are still astonishingly valid after almost 300 years.

Disclaimer: Rohr wrote mainly for a male readership, but for the reader of today, his tips are valid for all genders.

Let us start with what might easily be the most essential aspect: When to show up? Because arriving at some high-standing person's house, while they are not expecting company, might not favor your social climb in the long run. The rule of thumb is therefore:

"If one reports to the higher ones, one must never determine the time when one wants to come to them, one does this only against lesser ones, or occasionally against one's own; from the higher ones we must expect the instruction, when it is convenient for them. If they have indicated a certain time, we must appear punctually at the same time, and not a quarter of an hour later than they have prescribed. "[ii]

Now let's say you got the invitation you have been waiting for. The next challenge one faces is how to dress for the occasion. Dress to impress is a slippery slope since dressing above your status will, according to Rohr, cause only harm:

“A reasonable person does not worry in the least when he sees that others who are inferior to him do it in clothing either equally or well above him; he knows that such foolish people are often worthy of pity rather than envy, and that they are already punished by their foolishness, since they stab themselves in harm’s way without cause, since higher people mock them, but their equals often despise them because of it.”[iii]

It also seems wise to avoid crazy color choices to not get mocked, as Rohr tries to underline by an example:

“[…] if a young cavalier came to court in a bright aurora or rose-colored cloth or parrot green dress, he would certainly attract many eyes, and be judged in many ways for the colors he had chosen.”[iv]

Once you have arrived and made your way to the piano nobile, you must choose the right ante-chambre to wait in, according to your status. And even if you are impatient to be received, under no circumstances, march in announcing yourself by knocking:

"Knocking at the doors is not permitted in the royal houses, if they are closed and one knows that the people or servants are inside, one only scratches with the nails."[x]

Exiting idea, right? For this reason, if you intend a time-traveling excursion, I highly recommend applying some nail hardener to your nails beforehand. Or even going for acrylics to master that door-scratch extravaganza. And, if you decide to in the present, you could try the same at your boss's door next time you want to discuss an important matter. I would suggest a long melodic legato, followed by a series of soft staccato scratches.

Returning to the 18^th Century, after patiently waiting in an ante-chambre or scratching your way into the audience room, the next hurdle is the decision on where to sit. Luckily Rohr explains the matter in detail:

"The chairs in the rooms of the distinguished people whom we pay our respects are either already set in the order in which they should stand, or they are moved by the footmen when we arrive. But when one is ordered to take a seat, and one is to reach for a chair oneself, one has to observe three things in this regard. First, that one does not reach for a chair with arms, nor for one that is without leaning and back, […], because we would make ourselves ridiculous by both, one would be too rich, the other too poor; second, that one does not move his chair to the upper part, but […] to the lower part; and thirdly, that one also chooses the right distance, so that one does not sit too close to the neck of the distinguished person, but also does not move the chair […] almost to the door of the room, so that one cannot understand the other person if he or she has a somewhat weak and quiet voice."^[xi]

Rohr even tells us that other authors go so far as to advise that:

"[…] when sitting with a distinguished person, one should turn the body a little to the side, as if they should see us with one eye only, because this position would be more respectful than having the face on the face."^[xii]

This practice is too much for Rohr, who says this is not necessarily required. Once you are seated, you must be firm in the art of conversation and prepare yourself thoroughly, rather than directly addressing your inquiries. In matters of content, Rohr proposes that:

"He indulges in such tales, curiosities and oddities that are either new, or otherwise charming and peculiar. At the end, if his circumstances allow it, he maintains some correspondence, he reads various memoirs, journals, travel reports, poetry, etc. […], so that on occasion he can bring up one and the other in his conversation, and not have to talk only about dogs, horses [and] new fashions […] or dwell on other people, or make some tasteless glosses about one or the other point he read in the newspapers.[xiii]

Figure 4: Rearranged collage from twelve examples of natural and affected behavior, Daniel Nikolaus Chodowiecki, 1778. Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam.

While taking care to obey all these rules concerning the topics, Rohr adds some further requirements to the way one engages in conversation:

"[…] he refrains from all unnecessary repetitions, he tells a story only once and is always looking for something new, he entertains everyone in a way that is pleasant and convenient for them, […] he pays attention to whether the other person prefers to listen than to speak himself, he does not show in his words any eagerness to be a teacher, […] he takes care not to report anything false or unfounded, and in the case of uncertain stories he gives information about their authors." [xiv]

In my opinion, these are handy tips for 18th Century conversation as well as for today. What Rohr writes in this chapter might sound a little strange to us in how it is written. But the essence of what he is saying is astonishingly up to date. For example, the importance of naming the sources if a tale is uncertain. A rule which in the world we live in today is neglected much too often.

Another thing Rohr writes on a more serious note which speaks to me the most is:

"He is polite and helpful to all foreigners, regardless of their status and character […]."[xv]

Although we don't know how much this specific recommendation of Rohr’s was put into practice by his readers, it seems to be something that was commonly considered an essential trade. Otherwise, it would probably not have made it into Rohr's writing. Because it looks like what Rohr wrote was an assemblage of rules of conduct that were already around. This means 300 years ago, being open-minded and helpful toward foreigners was an honorable trade. Sadly, I witness internationally that this trade for many people seems to not count much anymore, even though we should know better today. When we broaden the word "foreigner" to the term "strangers," I believe Rohr reminds us of a quintessential in terms of living together in the best way possible, something which we can put to practice and share with others. And although we cannot change everyone, simply questioning our behavior and spreading the word already makes a significant difference!

Dearest reader,

Bernard Julius von Rohr has taught us much in the last few pages. And I am sure if we put only some of them into practice, the Beijing finishing school head mistress named earlier will undoubtedly be impressed. Although much emphasis was placed on appearances in the first part, we learned in the second part that the character is equally significant. And I even beg to argue that it was, and still is, more important. Rohr says one should make the other feel comfortable through appearance and conversation. This could, of course, be understood as the oppression of self-expression. But suppose you dress in something you feel truly comfortable in. In that case, may it be ever so extravagant, the other will sense that and be comfortable in your presence. Provided, of course, that the other person is not entirely preoccupied with themselves and has the headspace to engage with their environment. This means being our authentic selves while being considerate of others and their needs and feelings is the key to a valued appearance. Which, only speaking for myself, is often easier said than done.

I hope this little excursion brought you joy and a little food for thought. I am curious to know if and how you implement Rohr’s tips in your daily life. And I am very much looking forward to receiving your experience reports. Yours, S.

For more depictions visit my Rijksstudio collection

The reproductions of the printed primary source by Julius Bernhard von Rohr are available online:

Publication of 1728

Publication of 1733

The publication of 1733 was furthermore studied by M. Schlechte in "Einleitung zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft der grossen Herren ", published in 1990.[xvi]

Another great read about the life at the court of Versailles is the diary of French courtier Louis de Rouvroy, the Duke of Saint-Simon, published by Le Roy-Ladurie and Fitou under the title "Saint-Simon, ou: Le système de la cour".[xvii]

If you are interested in more fashion facts of the past, recommendations are P. Mansel's "Dressed to Rule" and K. Chrisman-Campbell's "Fashion Victims".[xviii]

Chrisman-Campbell, Kimberly, Fashion Victims: Dress at the Court of Louis XVI and Marie-Antoinette, Illustrated edition (New Haven: Yale University Press, 2015)

Mansel, Philip, Dressed to Rule: Royal and Court Costume from Louis XIV to Elizabeth II, 2005

Rohr, Julius Bernhard von, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Großen Herren, Die in Vier Besondern Theilen Die Meisten Ceremoniel-Handlungen, so Die Europäischen Puissancen Überhaupt, Und Die Teutschen Landes-Fürsten Insonderheit ... Zu Beobachten Pflegen: Nebst Den Mancherley Arten Der Divertissemens Vorträgt ... Und ... Aus Dem Alten Und Neuen Geschichten Erläutert, Neue Auflage (Berlin: Rüdiger, 1733)

———, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Privat-Personen, 1. Auflage (Berlin: Rüdiger, 1728)

Roy Ladurie, Emmanuel le, and Jean-François. Fitou, Saint-Simon, ou: Le système de la cour (Paris: Fayard, 1998)

Schlechte, Monika, Einleitung zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft der grossen Herren, Neudr. d. Ausg. Berlin, Rüdiger, 1733 ([Leipzig]: Ed. Leipzig, 1990)

[i] Julius Bernhard von Rohr, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Privat-Personen, 1. Auflage (Berlin: Rüdiger, 1728); Julius Bernhard von Rohr, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Grossen Herren, Die in Vier Besondern Theilen Die Meisten Ceremoniel-Handlungen, so Die Europäischen Puissancen Überhaupt, Und Die Teutschen Landes-Fürsten Insonderheit ... Zu Beobachten Pflegen: Nebst Den Mancherley Arten Der Divertissemens Vorträgt ... Und ... Aus Dem Alten Und Neuen Geschichten Erläutert, Neue Auflage (Berlin: Rüdiger, 1733).

[ii] Rohr, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Privat-Personen, p. 348, translated from German.

[iii] Rohr, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Privat-Personen, pp. 550–51, translated from German.

[iv] Rohr, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Privat-Personen, p. 567, translated from German.

[v] Rohr, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Privat-Personen, p. 567, translated from German.

[vi] Rohr, 567, translated from French.

[vii] Julius Bernhard von Rohr, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Großen Herren, Die in Vier Besondern Theilen Die Meisten Ceremoniel-Handlungen, so Die Europäischen Puissancen Überhaupt, Und Die Teutschen Landes-Fürsten Insonderheit ... Zu Beobachten Pflegen: Nebst Den Mancherley Arten Der Divertissemens Vorträgt ... Und ... Aus Dem Alten Und Neuen Geschichten Erläutert, Neue Auflage (Berlin: Rüdiger, 1733), p. 29

[viii] Rohr, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Privat-Personen, p. 568.

[ix] Cf. Rohr, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Privat-Personen, p. 551.

[x] Rohr, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Großen Herren, Die in Vier Besondern Theilen Die Meisten Ceremoniel-Handlungen, so Die Europäischen Puissancen Überhaupt, Und Die Teutschen Landes-Fürsten Insonderheit ... Zu Beobachten Pflegen, p. 77, translated from German.

[xi] Rohr, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Privat-Personen, p. 355, translated from German.

[xii] Rohr, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Privat-Personen, p. 355, translated from German.

[xiii] Rohr, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Privat-Personen, pp. 232–33, translated from German.

[xiv] Rohr, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Privat-Personen, pp. 232–33, translated from German.

[xv] Rohr, Einleitung Zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft Der Privat-Personen, p. 239, translated from German.

[xvi] Monika Schlechte, Einleitung zur Ceremoniel-Wissenschafft der grossen Herren, Neudr. d. Ausg. Berlin, Rüdiger, 1733 ([Leipzig]: Ed. Leipzig, 1990),

[xvii] Emmanuel le Roy Ladurie and Jean-François. Fitou, Saint-Simon, ou: Le système de la cour (Paris: Fayard, 1998).

[xviii] Philip Mansel, Dressed to Rule: Royal and Court Costume from Louis XIV to Elizabeth II, 2005; Kimberly Chrisman-Campbell, Fashion Victims: Dress at the Court of Louis XVI and Marie-Antoinette, Illustrated edition (New Haven: Yale University Press, 2015).